Sometimes
I just feel overwhelmed by impulses. I’ve been through the whole gambit in phases, from alcohol to cutting to starving to purging to drugs to relationships. Even though they were all lies at least I knew it. What I didn’t find out until later is that none of those things ever disappear, that I want nothing more than to lie in bed and drink and do of lines coke and adderall and oxy and drink coffee and smoke cigs and never sleep and never eat forever and ever until I’m pretty and the world’s over. How the fuck am I supposed to not do any of those things? Where do I even start?
